And in the vein of pregnancy weirdness, shit is weird y’all. I was so freaking worried about gaining too much weight back and getting fat and ‘losing my body’ (god I hate that term) and on and on. I knew that it would be hard to see my body change when I had put so much effort into changing it the other way. So it is very weird to find that I’m not having that problem. I had so identified as someone with a ‘weight problem’. I fully expected this to carry over into all phases of life.

It’s so weird to have this picture in your head of how you think things will be, and then they come along and aren’t like that at all. I expected, on some level, to have problems conceiving. So when I did, it sucked mightily, but it was not a surprise. This is a surprise. I was all ready to slip back into that crappy self esteem place where I’m anguished with guilt about what I’m eating, I’m hating the way I look, and I’m feeling less than all the beautiful people out there who are so much more than me. I never expected to be walking around feeling prettier than I’d ever felt in my life. No way.

And obviously, this is great. I love it. It’s just so weird to see your expectations shattered in such a bizarre way.